Strength of a Decision

A few years ago my wife approached me regarding a 1/2 marathon race in which she was looking for support on her training. I could see in her face it was really getting the best of her. The race was along the shoreline of Huntington Beach and happened to be Erica's first race since she broke her leg a few years earlier snowboarding. Inquisitively I asked, "How can I support you?" Erica said "I don't know, maybe check in with me and make sure I'm training consistently." With no hesitation I said "absolutely, anything else you need?" She exclaimed in a low voice "I don't know?" In absence of thinking I exclaimed, "Do you need me to run this with you?" Now at this point in time, I'm not a runner by any stretch of the meaning and was literally running 1 mile a week only to warm up for weightlifting. My face turned red with concern, I bit my tongue and in my head said "Oh shhh what did I just do?" Erica's face lit up like I had grown 2 inches, looked like George Clooney and the sex appeal of Brad Pitt. In an enthusiastic voice Erica said "Oh my gosh that would be amazing! Sign up right now!" I realized at this point there was no going back on what I said because I could not let her down. I proceeded to go online and sign up. A wave of energy came over me and an epiphany. I thought to myself, "You will be in the best shape of your life and your wife will be so impressed you ran this race with her." It was clear I needed to schedule my training and prepare for the race. I asked Erica "When is the race?" "February 1st” she said. Again, the feeling of "Oh shhhh" came over me, it was January 7th, and I thought, "Was it even possible I could train in time?" In extreme calmness and confidence Erica said "You will do fantastic." My mind was made up; I sat down and wrote a nutrition plan, hydration and running regiment. I ran 1 mile that day, 2 miles the 2nd day, 3 miles by the end of the week. By the second week I was running 5 miles, waking up at 5 am to train and began to time myself to finish at her target time of 1 hour and 55 minutes. I was consistent, confident and sustaining a great regiment of running, diet and hydrating perfectly. In my mind I felt I was unstoppable, there was a tremendous amount of leverage and I knew without a doubt I would finish. February 1st rolled around and I finished the race in 1 hour and 56 minutes. It was exhilarating and led me into curiosity.

The word decision is derived from German origin and literally means to cut off all else. As I reflect on this event I realized I was fully committed to the result and had made a rock solid decision. I began to ponder questions. Why is it that I struggle to be consistent with the gym and yet follow through with such determination on something I typically would not have any interest? How often do I struggle to make a rock solid decision & why? Why do I often fall short with decisions I make? The next epiphany came clear to me. The art of a strong decision requires clarity, leverage and commitment to the standard necessary to reach the result. I often help people feel the psychology of a decision through pain or pleasure leverages. Would you follow through with your goal if I was to give you a million dollars to achieve it? Would you achieve the goal if your left arm and right leg would be taken from you if you failed on your goal? Making strong decisions for many can be messy, frustrating and seemingly just out of reach. It requires cutting off all other limiting options to be successful. When was the last time you made a strong decision? Did you succeed? How did it make you feel?

The Power of Proximity

As I reflect on the quality of my life experiences including people I consider friends, acquaintances, business associates, my wife etc. I begin to deeply value the Power of Proximity. If I go back 11 years ago, I can recall sailing my boat with a very close friend of mine Jeff and his very beautiful neighbor Erica. She not only caught my eye that day but also began to shift the paradigm of how I viewed my life. As I spoke to Erica I quickly noted there were unique traits about her and powerful set of guiding forces in her life. It perplexed me, intrigued me and impacted my thinking. As I fast forward 2 years later, I drastically shifted in my career to working at Anthony Robbins as a coaching consultant and Erica was my fiance. What I was not aware, is Erica through the power of proximity had an incredible peer community. She surrounded herself with people who inspired the best in her. I began to reach my goals in my life, no longer just had pie in the sky dreams but learned strategies to actually bring them to fruition. I tell this story because the power of proximity continues to inspire, create and evolve not just myself but those that carefully select their peer communities and use this power. I often attend conferences & events that challenge the status quo and what I note is the room is full of those that don't accept the status quo as well. I encourage those that truly want more in their life to read daily, set goals, choose carefully those you spend time with because there is truth that we begin to mold to the peers around us. This applies to every aspect of your life whether we are discussing goals, values or perceptions of the world. Who are those who are in close proximity to us in our life? What value do we bring them in their life? What value do they bring to us in our life?

How can I be consistently successful on my Goals? Part 3

The most important factor in achieving results in our life is our Beliefs. As Tony Robbins would say, “Our beliefs are the basis of all our decisions in our life and shape our future.” In order for us to be successful on our goals we must first be “emotionally aligned” meaning be more committed to following through versus the excuses of why I’m not going to follow through. “I’m to busy, “Too Tired,” “Not good enough,” “Fearful I will fail again.” Well if you reflect on previous shortcomings on your goals you will probably notice some form of sabotage similar to the above statements. These types of statements are the quickest way to guarantee frustrating results. Would you follow through for a million dollars? If your life depended on it? If all your dreams would come true? If you answered yes to all of these, you have begun the process of emotional alignment, meaning we know we are capable of doing it we simply have not fully committed to the goal. The statement of “Hell if I don’t and Heaven if I do” is a great slogan to test our beliefs about the goals. Again, I caution if we are more committed to why we can’t achieve the goal, we will most definitely fail. One of the keys to our success is a powerful set of reasons of why we must achieve the goal.

In order for us to optimize our results in our life we must observe our previous history. When was the last time we accomplished something excellent; something we were proud of achieving? What was our level of commitment? What was our level of action towards the goal? What was our level of emotional alignment? These leave us keys to what it necessary with future goals.

Homework Assignment:

Ask yourself the following questions and write down your answers. What was the last great feat or goal you completed that was challenging when you first started? How clear were you on your plan? Did you write a schedule? Were you consistent with the plan? Did you have a strong purpose of why you were completing the goal? From a scale of 1 being the lowest and 10 the highest, what was your level of commitment on the goal? Were you emotionally aligned with the goal? Did you celebrate when you completed the goal and as you hit milestones? Now think about at a time we fell short on a goal and ask the same questions mentioned above. Write down what keys factors to your success on the first goal and what pieces were missing on the second goal. Use this as a model of the psychology you will follow in future goals.

I wish you much success on your goals!!

Please make sure to visit my site at http://www.steveabecker.com/

How can I be consistently successful on Goals? - Part 2 Continuation

The second important factor in achievement on our goals is action. This may seem obvious, but our goals require continuous discipline to be successful. I have always said focus and consistency are the roots of success on our goals. Are we taking enough action? We must give ourselves credit for the action we have taken and challenge ourselves to live at the standard necessary to completing the goals. As an example, if we have been working out for the past 3 months and missed our targets on our goal we must ask ourselves some well structured questions. Did I show up to the plan I declared? Was I consistent? Who would I have to become to consistently show up to this map? If the plan is flawed, we must be willing to make changes and test them. We most importantly must give ourselves credit for what we have completed and the efforts we have placed towards our goals. Beating ourselves up will never motivate us to continue towards the goals. Often the feeling of failure and beating ourselves up are the flaws I find with people.

Please stay tuned for the last Pillar to Goal Success coming later next week! Please be sure to visit my site http://www.steveabecker.com/ for more coaching strategies!

How can I be consistently successful on Goals?

I often recieve the question, "How can I be consistently Successful on my Goals?" How many times have we had the best intentions of completing goals only to fall short? New Years resolutions, health targets, career goals and the lists continue. Our frustration usually sends us back to the same place of “How can I complete this goal? and “Why do I fail at goals that I really want to complete?” I have heard variations of these questions literally thousands of times. Unfortunately using the same strategies which have failed us previously will typically lead us towards consistent disappointment. Working in the field of Peak Performance and Life Coaching for the past 7 years has led me to many breakthroughs on the psychology of achievement. The answer to consistent success on our goals comes with a strategy of three fundamental principals known as the Three Pillars to Goal Success.

The first piece of the puzzle to constantly achieving our goals is having a Map. Imagine for a moment you are a captain of a ship about to embark on a journey. Granted you already know how to Captain the ship, what is the first thing you must know before leaving the harbor? As you probably guessed, we must first identify our destination. Not only do we need to know our destination, we must have a Map to our Success. Ponder for a moment, how many times have you missed a doctors’ appointment? The reason we don’t miss this appointment is because we have it scheduled on our calendar and have purpose / leverage behind showing up. Much like taking off from a harbor on a journey or showing up to our Doctors appointment, goals require a Map to our destination and a schedule. It is important that we don’t use our plan or lack there of a clear plan as an excuse for why we are not executing on our goals. Like the Nike saying “Just Do it” we sometimes need to commit to showing up and leave behind the excuses. We also must be willing to adapt and change if our plan is not working out. Being open to trying a different way and “tweaking” our plan are necessary in mastering goals.

Please stay tuned for the next two Pillars to Goal Success coming later in the week! Make sure to checkout my site www.steveabecker.com

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